The folks over at All About Romance did a cool post about 10 Things I’d Like to Tell Publishers. I agree with a lot of their comments, especially the one about the cheesy romance book titles. (Seriously, I think someone has a lot of fun coming up with some of those groaners).

Inspired by them, I thought that I’d do a post about 10 Things I’d Like to Tell Readers. Here goes:

1. I have very little input/control when it comes to the cover art for my books. If you think the covers suck, there’s nothing I can do about it. (And yes, I know the covers for the mass market versions of the Bigtime books suck — they suck out loud, especially the one for Karma Girl. Believe me, I know and have spent many hours bemoaning that fact.)

2. I do not know everything there is to know about publishing. I cannot find a cover artist for your book, or a copy editor, or tell you why no one wants to publish the annotated history of your belly lint. Well, I could on that last one, but you probably wouldn’t like what I had to say about it. I get a lot of questions about publishing and writing, and I’m happy to help when and as I can — but I can’t get your book published for you. Only you can do that. And yes, it is much harder than it looks.

3. Fake even a little bit of interest in my work, and I will sign books until my fingers bleed and smile for photos until my face hurts for you. Buy one of my books, and I will shower you with all the bookmarks and goodies that I have on hand. Tell me that you read and enjoyed one of my books, and I will wish you joy and happiness for all of your days. 😉

4. I look at reviews for my books. Good ones make me happy, bad ones make me sad. Reviews where folks call my books the worst things ever written after reading all of two pages of said books and never finishing them bring out my inner Hulk, who can only be controlled by eating massive amounts of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Or to sum up, authors have feelings too, folks.

5. Getting asked where the bathroom is while I’m doing a book signing is depressing. Pop! Did you hear that? That was the sound of you just deflating my ego. Now, I want to crawl under the table and whimper while I eat a candy bar — or three.

6. I don’t care what format you buy my book in. Paper copy, e-copy, heck, I don’t even care if you get a copy from the used bookstore. All I ask is that if you like the book, you tell your friends about it — and maybe take a minute or two to send me an e-mail about it (see 10). If you don’t like my book, that’s okay too — just be polite about it. Different strokes for different folks, and all that.

7. I’m a reader too, and I’m just as happy to talk about other authors’ books as I am about my own. I can prattle on and on and on about my favorite authors and books all day long. Seriously, I can make your ears bleed, folks. My significant other knows better than to get me started waxing poetic about my favorite books. Everyone else, you have been warned. 😉

8. Yeah, I know that my books are not perfect. There are typos and continuity errors and sometimes I repeat phrases in books. But you know what? It’s hard coming up with 100,000 words that create a coherent story, and it’s even harder to ensure that every single one of those words is perfect. Manuscripts go through a lot of editors as they are turned into books, and we all do our very best to catch all the mistakes. But we’re human, and some errors are going to creep in. It’s not because I don’t work hard on my books — that’s just life.

9. My inner fangirl squees with delight every time I see my book on the shelf at the bookstore. That weird woman you see taking photos in at Walmart? That’s me, ogling my book on the shelf for about the hundredth time.

10. A positive e-mail from a reader telling me that she liked my books really does make my day (see 6). Knowing that people enjoy my books makes all the hard work and long hours in front of my computer worthwhile.

So there you have it. Some of my (hopefully amusing) thoughts that I’d like to share with readers. What about you guys? What are some of the things you’d like to tell authors or publishers? Share in the comments. And keep it polite, please.

Tags: About Books, On Writing